How much Sex Ed do you remember from school?
How much were you really taught?
How specifically can you name each of the specific regions of our sexual organs?
Probably not much, and not very well…
How many people actually open up about sexual health and sexual history? How many people truely ask the questions….
If your down and you don’t want to know this is your prerogative, but you also have a right to know the basics..
I am quite lucky in my life that I do ask alot of questions, not always as quickly as I should but because I ask questions, and hear people out with genuine care & curiosity without judgement so I do tend to have people open up to me quite a bit. Often in somecases more than they would with their sexual partners which often leads me to think, does everyone else get to know this info?
I am all for not knowing, if you don’t want to know…
But what concerns me, is the people afraid to ask the question.
I had a doctor once tell me, don’t believe what anyone says, always assume they are lying, stay safe.
But do we really want that level of trust with those we are intimate whether that’s one night or a life time?
It’s our right not to share intricate details, but if we are going to share in intricate parts of each other, when you take on that part of someone, it may or may not be important for you to know what else you are taking on too. We should be able to confidently ask the questions which allow us to feel safe and confident in our own sexual health and wellbeing.
We should be able to safely communicate on different levels, we should be able to share in some trust in that.
My biggest thing in all of this, is empowering people not to cower at questions, don’t not ask because you are scared of being told no, or getting a reaction, then deal with potential consequences later. If questions are not relevant to you, or you choose not to know - GREAT!! But if it feels relevant, be confident enough to speak up.
I know many of us have not confidently held enough of these conversations in our lifetime.
@jordandnelle a Sexual Health Educator helping women reclaim their confidence in and out of the bedroom - with her podcast Vagina’s Vulvas & Viabrators shared a method recently called STARS which she had discovered on a podcast with one of her guest @honmychest
It was a simple formula which helps to normalise this style of conversation..
STARS - Standing for;
S- Sti Status
T- Turn ons
R- Relationship Intentions
S- Safer Sex Practice
By having these conversations up front, normalising them, we can empower choice, safe sex, better communication & more intimate connections….
We can implement new levels of trust.
On Jordans latest podcast she delves into STARS with it’s creator @sexmeddoc they chat about - why she created it, how to use it and sooo much more!! Make sure to check them out.
Stay Safe, Stay Happy, Stay Sexy.