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Dear Anonymous,

There is alot of layers to this!!


The biggest and most important thing really though is what do you want?


What would you like to do?


If her emotions, and potential of hurting her or your relationship was at the door what would you like to do?


Do this idea excite you? Beyond being concerned for your partner?


Do you like the idea of being able to keep your girlfriend and have extra sex on the side?


Do you like the idea of being able to explore?


If you do, great!


But if you don’t that’s also perfect!


Just because she’s suggested this and is giving you a pass to go and get it else where does not mean you need to accept that or take it up if that is something you are just not comfortable with or want to do.


If you just want to stick it out with your current partner then perhaps you get a little creative together about other ways you can stay faithful and keep up with your sex drive, while respecting where hers is also.


It’s easy to say from the outside, pre relationship find someone on the same page with you, who has a similar drive and desire, but things pop up, feelings pop up, connections happen & then even over times things can just change.


Have you or your partner ever engaged in an open relationship in the past?


I would ask some more questions to your partner around this and make sure you guys are very much on the same page and it’s not just words, which will hurt you both at the end of the day but something she is actually comfortable with.


Is she bringing this up because this is how she feels she can help you feel fulfilled?


Or because she feels like she can not fulfil you.


There is a huge difference here!


Is she actually okay with you being with others?


Where is that line drawn? What things is she comfortable with? What is too far? When and where does this need to take place?


Are there any ground rules, or things that are just too far.


I would say, start small, have lots of conversations and make sure you are on the same page, and make sure you are taking the time to consider each others feelings and needs and your progress forward.. Take baby steps and ensure you are each okay with each step along the way and communicate when it feels weird so you don’t just ruin the relationship you have together in the meantime,


Have lots of conversation, hear each other, know for sure before you do anything that you are both comfortable with what is going to happen.


<3 Jenaya


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