To me honesty is huge!
Now there is not being honest and lying…… or there is simply just not opening enough to feel like your being completely honest with yourself, which if you are holding back sounds like exactly what is going on for you here.
Opening up can be tough, being VULNERABLE can be tough, but it can also be super rewarding….
Often our fear of transparency comes from a deeper rooted fear of rejection or judgement. To protect us we have grown up alot of our lives hearing the word no, told not to take risks, told not to upset other people, told just to put up with it and get over it… We are not often actually taught to express our feelings and desires in their fullness, with transparency, without exception or judgement.
So as we grow up we’ve been given this idea that we should keep quiet, but then we have also had those moments where we tried something and felt rejected, shut down, where we were made to feel stupid, unworthy or less than for expressing ourselves….
We’ve all had those moments where we were not understood, where we didn’t feel loved, where we felt judged, self concious, and consciously or sub consciously we build up this barrier, hide parts of ourselves, start to pull back…
This can come in areas big and small, but those little words, those little things that stuck with us, often have a huge affect that spirals later in life and yes BEING HONEST all the time is hard!
Being true to yourself when that involves saying something to someone else… Being open… Honest….. True… Standing up in your own true and unique power when it feels vulnerable and scary is fucking hard!!
But as you grow up, get older and to the point in your life where you know you are waiting to express your true and beautiful self but are feeling like your holding something back, you are also at the point where you do not need to spend your time with those who will judge you…. You do not need to give those who don’t support you.. It does not serve you to spend your time or give your energy to those who do not fully and completely love you for all of who you are and what you stand for.
You are strong, you are powerful, you are worthy, & you are perfect being all of you, you in your fullness, you in expression, you in your depth….
As you begin to realise this, be selective not about who you are your true self around, but those you choose to share your full self with… Build connections with those who love and support you for you, seek out the friendships and the relationships where you are loved, accepted, and heard, spend more of your time and energy nourishing those, and practicing stepping into your full forms of expression.
Long story short I hope your partner is this person for you, if they are have a pre-conversation about having a conversation about it, line in up so you know there’s no angst, or competition, there’s just love and acceptance, use baby steps & step into sharing, saying more, being more authentic, you may just be surprised at the result….. & if your partner does react differently ask yourself if that’s a you problem for expressing your self and being you in your full & loveable glory? Or is that a them problem for not being able to accept you with love, care & openness.
Be cautious of those you give power too, and don’t let anyone make you feel less than, for being all of you.
Being true to yourself, honest, open and vulnerable with full truthful expression of you and your hearts desires is POWERFUL.