I am sorry you are feeling this way! We all have parts of ourself we don’t like, some more than others but we can also get in a pattern or going from one thing we don’t like to the next and taring ourselves apart..
We ARE our own harshest critics!
MOST people don’t see what we see when we look at ourselves, clothes or not, often we are looking for our faults, whereas most of the time especially in intimate situations people are NOT looking for the parts of you that they don’t like they are actively looking for the parts of you that they love, adore, that turn them on…. If you have got as far as having no clothes on, then you are far enough into this to know we’re interested in further discovering those positive parts of each other, you don’t go into ripping someones clothes off to go ewwww, what’s that?
It’s so easy to say don’t worry what anyone else thinks, but that doesn’t help what WE think!
If you just feel shit about yourself it won’t even matter if people are saying positive things about you it’s not going to sink in for you deep down and it’s not going to feel believable because you don’t feel it about yourself.
Okay so you don’t like parts of your body… Well what bits do you like? What parts of yourself do you like? Have you truely thought about it?
Have you made a physical or internal list of all the parts of you that you do LOVE & admire?
Maybe you don’t like the way your stomach sits, or your weight? The way you look in the mirror…. But what are you doing to counteract that? Do you follow that up with patterns of behaviour that continue to enforce those parts of yourself you are ashamed of? Or are you thinking I don’t like this bit how can I fix that? & are actually doing something about it.
Besides being active, healthy, eating and moving or doing the things that directly counteract the bits we don’t like we need to train our minds not to tare ourselves apart…
List out to yourself those parts of you you love the most.
Maybe you feel overweight, you don’t like your thighs, you don’t like how your stomach sits, or the way your boobs look on an angle, maybe you don’t like your nose…
Make a list of all those parts of your self you do admire & not just physically, then combat that when it comes up.
Maybe you don’t like those bits but you LOVE YOUR BOOBS, you love your ass, your hips, your lips, your ribs, maybe you love the way apart of your body looks on a certain angle, or in a certain light… Maybe you just love how it feels in the dark…
All of this is okay but EMBRACE that!! Instead of focusing on all the bits you don’t like, ask yourself what can I do to improve on these bits and do it? But combat the downtalk by embracing all you are…
When you think ewwww my stomach sits weird like that, think but fuck my boobs look amazing!!
Combat the down talk, and embrace that which you love.
Enter experiences with love, and compassion for yourself.. We are our own harshest critics, and we feel much more judgement for our selves then most of the time we will ever feel from someone else.
If you can do this and retrain your brain and mind, over time the downtick will lessen and your personal confidence and certainty in yourself will grow..
What I will say is, spend your time with those who bring you up, experience things that make you feel vulnerable with those who you know have got your back…. People who will support you, people who will consider you, people who will hold you when your scared, people who will support you in baby steps to feel safe, comfortable, & heard… People who will support you in going at your own pace. People who make you feel comfortable, valued, and respected..
Embrace yourself, and allow others to embrace those parts of you too without taring yourself down or offering up ideas of what they shouldn’t like about you.
It all starts will small steps, but the first step is finding those tiny parts of yourself you do know you love, and believing that within yourself… Letting those parts flourish & letting those lead the way…
xx
